Jake's Funeral

There was a viewing the night before the funeral where many family and friends came to see Jake.  It was strange and a little unsettling to see his lifeless body lying there in his casket.  While I have a picture of him at the viewing, it makes me uneasy to look at it and therefore I will not be posting it. So much of Jake was the life and energy that radiated from him and with that gone it hardly seemed like the Jake I knew.  There was a moment when I was able to go and stand in front of his casket just by myself and I'm grateful for that moment.  Sometimes people need to be surrounded and hugged, but sometimes they just need a moment by themselves and I'm glad I could have that moment alone.  I felt him near and felt that somehow we were both able communicate our love for each other.  I don't know how to explain it, but I knew he lived in and that he was aware of me at that moment.  I wish I could have had longer, but I felt like I needed to make room for others to come up and pay their respects.  I somehow held my tears in and spent the rest of the evening visiting with the others who were there.  I had friends who didn't even know Jake come and be there just to support me and my family which I thought was incredibly selfless and kind.  They are true friends.

The next day there was a smaller viewing at the church followed by the service.  A few of us sang Lead Kindly Light which will now always remind me of Jake.  Emily gave a beautiful eulogy and Dixon and Jake's Uncle gave great talks.  Then we headed to The Spanish Fork Cemetery where he would be buried.  It is really beautiful, calm and serene place. 
The pallbearers were all cousins, uncles and Grayson.
There was a large amount of family there, but I will not be posting many pictures outside of immediate family.
I thought the reality of Jake's death would hit me at the funeral, but even then it didn't seem real.  I imagine that it will hit me the strongest when we are on a family vacation since that's usually the one time all of the family is together at once, no matter what.  There will be a void without his fun-loving energy there.  Without his teasing, without his laughter, without him being the first one to suggest grabbing the boogie boards and going out in the water...it will just not be the same. 
Kim (Jake's mom, Grayson and Emily).  I'm in the background talking to Ty.  I love how our families can all be friendly, regardless of divorce.
Do you smile in pictures at funerals?  I'm not sure, but we tried to look pleasant as best we could.
As far as I remember the only other funeral I've been to was for my friend Debbie.  I hope it is years more before I have to attend another one for a loved one.
Grayson and Dixon had a really sweet father-son talk together about Jake before we left. 

It was a very nice service overall.  There was a bag piper who played some Scottish tunes which added a nice touch and the weather was beautiful.  So many family and friends flew in from all over and it was nice to be able to all remember Jake together.
The raindrops on the car window from the night of the viewing.
The love and support of all of our family and friends has been extremely appreciated through this experience.  So many people have reached out to us and been so kind.  One of the many things I've learned from this experience is to never hesitate to reach out to someone who has just received bad news.  I'm pretty terrible about reaching out to others in times like this because I have no idea what to say and I figure they are probably are too busy dealing whatever is going on to care about what I say to them, but this is not true.  While they might not have time to respond to you, any text, email, letter or phone call is very appreciated.  It doesn't matter what you say or how long or short it is, but just that gesture of reaching out to show you care goes so far.  I have resolved to always reach out to people from now on when they are dealing with a loss of any kind because I know how much it means to feel that love and support from your friends and family.  Additionally, follow up messages checking on how they're doing in the weeks following, after things have settled down, are also very appreciated.  I'm grateful for the wonderful people in my life who have set this example and shown me what it means to be there for your friends through good and bad.  I hope to be more like them in the future.

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