Goodbye Jake

I'm not really sure how to write about this since it is so personal and I don't often write about personal matters on this blog, but it just doesn't seem right to continue blogging without addressing it.

On November 28, 2012 Jake, my brother (technically step-brother), passed away unexpectedly.  Jake was 26, just one year older than I and in Utah at the time.  I think it goes without saying how shocking and extremely sad this was for our family.  He was a wonderful brother and so much fun to be around.

It's been four months and I'm still trying to process it all.  In a way, I don't think it's fully hit me, even after all this time.  Actually, I know it hasn't.  It's just too much to really comprehend.

There are so many thoughts and emotions that you feel all at once when receiving news like this.  It's hard to describe, but shock, disbelief and sadness were the ones I felt the strongest.  Once I got over the shock I felt denial.  Surely, this can't be true.  But from the look on Dixon's face I knew it most certainly was.  The sadness was three-fold.  I was sad at the thought of how very much I will miss him the rest of my life.  I was sad that his life ended so early - that he will miss out on all of life's experiences yet to come.  And lastly, I was sad for my family and those who loved him.  It's very hard to see so many people you love deeply so saddened and dealing with such a great loss.

As hard as this has been for everyone, I think that we (my family and I) would all agree that it has been made so much easier with our knowledge of the gospel and the Plan of Salvation.  I don't just hope, I absolutely know that we will all see Jake again.  That was reaffirmed to me during this experience.  I know that he is not far away from us and that he is with loved ones on the other side looking out for us.  How wonderful it is that families can be together forever.  We have been able to focus on the good and remember all of the wonderful times we have shared with him. He deeply impacted each one of us and we are so grateful for all of the time we had together. We have all determined to be a little kinder, a little less judgmental, and a little more outwardly focused in honor of Jake.  We can best honor and remember him by the way we treat those around us.  That is most certainly what he would want.

There was a quote on his funeral program that I think summed up his attitude toward life pretty well.  “Life is not a journey to the grave with intentions of arriving safely in a pretty well-preserved body, but rather a skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming…WOW! What a ride!”

Jake was a lot of fun and always up for an adventure.  He kept us all laughing and on our toes.   I have so many pictures and stories of him that I'd like to share, so over the next week I'll be posting about Jake mostly.

Here is his obituary:

Jacob Dixon Kummer
October 24, 1986 - November 28, 2012
Jacob ("Jake") Dixon
Kummer, 26, of Provo,
Utah, returned home to
his Heavenly Father on
November 28, 2012.
He will be deeply
missed by all that knew
and loved him. He was
born October 24, 1986,
in Bakersfield,
California. He attended grade school in
Bakersfield, California; junior high
school in Spanish Fork, Utah; and high
school at Timpanogos High School, in
Orem, Utah. He graduated from the
Utah Fire and Rescue Academy in 2007
and was most recently pursuing a
paramedic degree at Utah Valley
     Jake had a big heart and loved
helping others. He was tender, caring,
and compassionate. He had an
incredible sense of humor and a
passion for the excitement of life. He
loved snowmobiling, motorcycling, and
everything adventurous.  He also loved
animals, traveling with family, and
being outdoors. He often felt most at
peace under the stars.
     It is rare indeed to meet someone
who makes such a positive impact on
the lives of others as Jake did. Our
lives-and countless others-have been
greatly blessed by his short time with
us. He will be dearly missed and will
remain in our daily thoughts, but
because of, and with gratitude for, the
Atonement of Jesus Christ, we know we
will see him again. For, "Jesus said, I am
the resurrection, and the life: he that
believeth in me, though he were dead,
yet shall he live."  John 11:25.
     Jake is survived by his parents Dixon
(Dana) Kummer, of Bakersfield, CA,
and Kim (James) Johnson, of Orem, UT;
his sisters Emily, Lauren, and
Stephanie; his brothers Grayson,
Matthew, and Jared; and his beloved
dog, Pyro. He also leaves grandparents,
aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends that
greatly loved him.
     Funeral services will be held
Monday, December 3, 2012, at the
Heatheridge 6th Ward, 1505 North 130
East, Orem, Utah, at 11:00 a.m., with a
viewing prior to the funeral from
10:00-10:45 a.m.  An additional viewing
will be held at the Walker-Sanderson
Funeral Home, 646 East 800 North,
Orem, on Sunday, December 2, 2012,
from 6:00-8:00 p.m. Jake will be laid to
rest next to his grandparents at the
Spanish Fork Cemetery. Online
condolences may be sent to the family

5 Response to Goodbye Jake

March 29, 2013 at 5:21 PM

I am so broken hearted for you and your family right now. Thinking about you and praying for you.

March 29, 2013 at 5:32 PM

xoxo, Lauren. You know your family is always on our minds. I think you put it perfectly when you said you can best remember him by the way you treat those around you. Awesome perspective. :)

March 30, 2013 at 8:16 PM

Lauren! This breaks my heart. I am so sorry. I have lost my cousin/best friend suddenly and know it is the hardest thing you may ever go through. Stay strong I love you so much and will be praying for you.

March 31, 2013 at 5:14 PM

I'm glad you wrote this. Human experience is web of emotions, and I appreciate learning from and feeling yours. I'm sorry for your loss, and hope you will find ways to process it without erasing it.

May 15, 2013 at 11:02 PM

Lauren, I'm sorry I am just now reading about this and so sorry for your loss. I love you and hope you are finding some peace. Your tribute is really nice to read

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